We kicked the bucket this week. It seems that someone-we are not sure who it is-always put it where we are sure to step on its toes in the dark. It seems that we have no choice in this matter. We cannot shine on this subject. Electricity bills are too expensive.
But this is a bad wind that is not good for anyone. Tapping our phalanx reminds us that we need to update our bucket list. It's also timely fun. A series of UFOs that took place over Pittsburgh, Michigan, defeating Iowa in the Big Ten Championship, and the Lions defeating the Vikings ruined their perfect season-we're pretty sure these are them on Sunday The same signs that are often talked about in school-there is no doubt.
Not knowing what to do next, we turned on the radio, just as someone muttered Mrs. Lei's song. Aha! Another sign. Soon, we were all seated, ready to take the next flight to Hawaii, where idyllic beaches, gentle waves, hula dancing and gentle South Pacific breeze...were in our ears. Fortunately, we checked the forecast first. Because we will land in the middle of a snowstorm with 12 inches of snow and a wind speed of 100 mph. Tropical paradise? More like the upcoming Four Horsemen. Let it be a lesson.
Never, never accept the holiday advice of old sponge Bob Dylan.
Oh, of course, this guy is a genius. But think about it. The nasal sounds, elongated vowels, and ambiguous gibberish that are compared to a dog whose leg is entangled in a barbed wire are really the voices of someone you can trust? While we are doing it, what about the guy spinning the tune on the radio? Can you believe anything they say? You may need to think twice before answering.
Because of the times, they are changing.
Even if wages are lower than the minimum wage—which is the prevailing rate in most places—personnel expenses account for most of the broadcast budget. Radio stations are always trying to save money, and this is where WellSaid Labs in Seattle comes in. This 3-year-old startup is now touting human voice technology as a way to make artificial nerve disks-JockeY-also known as ANDY robots-or one of his 50 or so avatar opponents. The first morning show host in every major market.
Unlike the monotonous synthetic speech software bundled with the program we used when writing this column-thinking that "lima bean" should be pronounced "leema"-this new technology is very advanced, and it even includes phrases and sentences. Breathe naturally. But due to its limited changes, occasional mistakes and long pauses, it is far from a real deal.
Not to mention that it makes us creepy.
The fact is that the only sound from behind the microphone should be the voice of a real person. Even if it means tolerating endless mispronunciations and daunting rhetoric. What the radio industry needs is unscripted spontaneity. Joe Collins, who is not computer-generated, sounds like every one of his words comes from what the producer types on the keyboard. Alas, the broadcast tycoons Cumulus and iHeart don't care about hiring broadcasters who connect with the audience. They will go all out and replace them with AI. But true radio enthusiasts like us have only one message for the budding ANDY.
Don't you know how tired it is to see you?
Dear reader, it must be Fourth Street.
The conversation with Doug Spade and Mike Clement will be listened to online on Buzz 102.5 FM and www.dougspade.com and www.lenconnect.com every Saturday morning from 9 am to noon Eastern time.